For years, this was the biggest secret of my life. I was terrified of coming out as a non-believer. How would people react? What would they think of me, as a member of the most distrusted minority within the United States, because I had lost my belief in religion?
Actually, I never 'lost' my religion at all.
At 4 years old, my Methodist family had me baptised, I went to sunday school, and sat with my family and listened to the pastor every Sunday. I was an acolyte. I went to confirmation classes and was confirmed as a member of the Methodist church at the age of 12. ...even though before I started confirmation classes, I knew that I did not believe a word of it.
WHY?
I've always been a bookworm; as a young child I would read everything available to me, cover to cover. So, I read the bible. Yes, I read all the "good parts," the ones often cherry-picked and shared in church for the poetry and messages about love and acceptance. But, I also read the rest of that vile little book.
I read about the sins of acquiring knowledge, the dangers of temptation, learned proper ways to keep slaves, offenses worthy of stoning one to death, men's 'right' to rape women and marry their victim (as long as the girl's father was paid afterward), young girls being sold into slavery and marriage, women being subservient and inferior to men, God killing his creation and causing pointless suffering. I learned that as a female, I was born an inferior being, my body was sinful and as a female, I was guilty of all the evils that have fallen upon mankind. The bible said I was not allowed to speak in church, to teach, or to attain any position that would give me authority over men. I learned that if I was a christian, since I am female, I would not be able to be a leader. The bible prohibited it. From the bible, I also learned I was born guilty. I deserved to be punished. My body was inherently sinful. My body was not my own. If I went against God, I would be condemned to eternal torture in hell.
What I read did not sound like the acts of a loving and benevolent god. The god I read about was a malevolent, jealous, sadistic, murderous monster.
Despite all this, I still went to confirmation and declared myself as a good little, obedient, Methodist child of God; a god that I didn't believe in. But I was confirmed, because that was what was expected of me. At 12 years old, did I KNOW I had a choice? As a child, could I have found the courage to disagree with my pastor, my friends, and my entire family? Could I have stood up in front of that entire congregation and found the courage to disagree with them?
How could we go to church and sing about God's love, when I had READ about all the atrocities committed by the alleged deity being worshipped? How could anybody rejoice for the day they'd die and go to heaven, as countless others were condemned to spend eternity burning in hell for their sins or slights against an 'all-loving' deity? How could I believe I was made from a rib, when I had learned about the big bang, natural selection, astronomy, and evolution in school?
Were my science teachers wrong or was the bible, and all of its contradictions, wrong? I realized they couldn't both be correct.
I chose science, reason, logic critical thinking, and education. I chose a thirst for knowledge and evidence, rather than blind belief. I threw off the chains religion had shackled me with.
ANY belief that oppresses, ostracizes, discriminates, and KILLS people for being different or for not following the social mores of a given belief system deserves NO respect whatsoever and deserves to be called out for the harm that it causes.
When a same-sex couple in love cannot get married because it is considered "offensive," when a third-world country ravaged by disease, overpopulation, and starvation is preached to about 'dangers' of condom use and vaccinations, when the rape victim is condemned to the traumatic experience of bearing her rapist's child, when homosexual individuals in Uganda are beaten to death due to their sexual orientation, when young girls must promise their fathers they will not engage in sexual acts before marriage, when sex is decried as a vile act and female sexuality must be shamed, when children are indoctrinated into religion from birth and told they will go to hell if they are bad or question what they have been told, when priests sexually assault innocent boys and escape prosecution, when wars are waged over whose god is the correct and 'true' god, when people thank their god for the food on their table while millions of innocent children starve to death around the world, when someone's loved one dies prematurely and grieving family members are told the death is god's plan, when a child is miscarried or stillborn and bereaved parents are told that god needed another angel, when parents disown their child for coming out as gay or atheist, when christians ridicule islamic beliefs and get upset when their own beliefs meet similar criticisms, when anybody "different" is ostracized from their family and community... how can you continue to defend your belief when these things are allowed to happen, when the Abrahamic religions condone ALL these acts?
It is this type of bigotry, misogyny, arrogance, ignorance, and intolerance that reveals the true nature of religious belief.
- Stef (That Stephans Chick)
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